Take a break maybe?

The canal-full of water=LIFE! :)
Arent these gorgeous? the picture doesnt do justice! I saw them in someones yard on a walk-so glad I brought my camera along!

Sooo, the title is because I am thinking about taking at least a week break from the computer. I am on it SOOOO much, i feel like I am missing out on some things, like watching my little brother and sister grow, and getting out of the house more. Like, blogging and meeting wonderful people has been sooo nice, and I will REALLY miss that, but hey, its only like a week. It's not like I will be gone forever! I just feel like i need to sort of "refocus" my life a bit. Instead seems like my focus is 1.) Food, and 2.) blogging. Ironic how thats what i am doing right now! :p I hate the idea of not blogging, I really DO love it, but the best thing for me seems to be a break. Get back into real life a little more. Enjoy what is around me instead of hunkering into my own little world. i really am happier when I am around people. I AM a people person, my ED just doesnt want me to believe that, and wants me to seclude myself. Today I went to the grocery store with my mom, and i could have stayed home but i chose to go, and I enjoyed her company and being with the littles(my name for Samuel and Naomi btw, without always having to name them! :) ) I even got some larabars-they were on sale 4 for $5! :) So...basically this is a hard decision to make buuuut, I will just take it a day at a time!

My new resolve is this: To live life one day at a time, not dwelling in the past or fretting about the future. I dont know why i didnt think of this before, but I am so glad I have made this resolve! I was being suffocated by life, all the bad things, and when I wasnt thinking about that I was worrying about what my future held for me! What kind of life is that??? I'll tell you this: it is miserable!

I want to live in the now. The present is what matters, making a difference every day, making everyday a separate day. And I cant tell you how much it has helped! I was suffocating, and now I feel like I can breath, knowing that I dont have to focus on what might happen wrong next. Instead I think about what is right at the now. SOooo, lots is right today! Lots is wrong, granted, but I am not focusing on those things. It doesnt mean they dont matter, they DO matter, and I am doing everything in my power to change them, but they dont change in an instant, so i wont focus on them when i can be thinking about good things!

Good things today were...well, I failed my drive test, PooP! That sucks since I have to pay for another one, but I was just sooo nervous so I just didnt drive very well! :( Sorry, that wasnt a good thing, I just had to share, lol! :) But today I had a fun walk/talk with Abbi. We didnt talk about anything deep, but I enjoyed it! And in Mr. T's classes we are watching Ben Hur, which is a old movie, but it is pretty good! And i got LARABARS, the Hazelnut Theo Chocolate Bar, and my fave three clif bar flavors at Fred Meyer's this afternoon! YAY! :) I want to post a pic...but that will have to wait! I cant wait to eat them!

Ok, well, really I can wait to eat them...I havent been doing so well in the food department...but I dont want to dwell on that, I have the hopes that it will just work itself out, like I will just eventually get hungry, and want to eat, and still be at an ok weight, and yady yaddy ya. :/ Fooey, I am so happy right now tho, I dont want to have to worry about it so much.

All in all, I think I am making a big step, choosing to live my life this way, with this new take on it, rather than how I was before. i am scared, excited, feeling challenged, and also somewhat relieved, that I really CAN do this! And so can all of you! :)

I dont know if i will post tomorrow, like I said, living life one day at a time, so we will see where this river takes me! Love you all!
Maddi
xxx