*Draw *Dance(ya, weird I know put i love putting on loud music and dancing my heart out, even tho i really cant dance, lol) *walk (short ones mind you) *clean( i actually like cleaning, its relaxing!) *blog(doing that!) *watch movies(not a big fan of movie watching, but I may get pretty tired so its a good option) *play with the kids *bake(love baking) *drive(thats a must since my test drive is this week, I need practise!) *read *homework(yes, over the weekend :() *make dinner *organize closet *bead *make a collage *journal *read the bible *chores *swing
thats it minus a couple reminders...so ya, this should be a productive 3 days I believe. I cant really believe I am doing this..I mean seriously, what would i think if a recovering anorexic came up to me and told me they were doing a three day fast?? Well, if they were way unhealthy I would tell them no way, and i guess if they were healthy I would tell them to watch out! I confuse myself, I know why I am doing this tho. 1.)to loose the excess weight i may have gained from those un-fun binge episodes, and 2.) to "re-establish" my relationship with food. and maybe 3.) To prove to myself that I DO have control, because the last few days were proving me otherwise. I am super nervous about that third one. What will happen if i let myself down and loose control?? i think that would super duperly depress me. Thats why I wrote that list, so when i feel hungry I can do those things, rather than loose control. I think reason 2 and 3 are the main reasons for this fast. I just really really hope it goes as planned, i am a little anxious. but enough dwelling on that, I have so much to do today, i am going to get the MUST things done first, like homework and chores. Have a happy day everyone!
Maddi
xxx
4 comments:
As I've said before, I'm worried about you doing this. On many an occasion last year I thought I could solve things by fasting. Every time I ended up binging and purging. Every single time. The only way to break the cycle was to a) get to a healthy weight and b) eat regularly and sufficiently, even after a binge-purge.
Restricting makes the binge cycle worse. The only way to break it is to get into a good pattern of eating again so that your body learns to trust you again.
I don't want to see you enter the same miserable cycle as I did last year. It was hell, and it put me in hospital for 6 months. I don't want to see this happen to someone as lovely as you, nor anyone for that matter.
There is a way out, but it takes alot of time, practise and patience. Sorry for the epic comment!
Sarah x
I'm really worried about you doing this to.... It is never the right answer. You need to just start over, wake up with breakfast, move on to snack, move on to lunch, without further binges. This is not going to lead anywhere good. :(
I'm worried too hun. Fasting is NEVER a good solution to someone with an ED. You're better off being very strict with yourself and eating moderate to small meals every 3 hours so that your body doesn't have much time to get verryyy hungry, and thus resulting in a binge free day, week, LIFE. Fasting can actually make you gain weight because it slows your metabolism, and confuses your body. I know your intentions are good, and I applaud you for trying to reconcile your relationship with food, but I don't think fasting is going to help with that hun.. and its just not safe.
however, with that said, if you do chose to do this (since its ultimately your decision, we can only offer you our advice and support) do NOT let this make you upset with yourself if you realize while fasting that its NOT going to help, and you want to eat. If you want to eat, EAT girl! haha.
take care and be safe, i'll be thinking of you.
xoxo
-A <3
Maddi, I think it is great that you want to reconcile your relationship with food, but this not the right way to do it! I know you think that this is what you think will work for you, but It is just another ED trick to get you back in it's grips. You have to really think about this, and I think that when you do that, you will realize that this is just going to make your relationship with food even worse than it is :/
Scott
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