Angry...for various reasons...

new CD's-Tenth Avenue North and Holly Starr. :)
Going across the bridge into Oregon!! A bit scary being so close to the cars! (there is a separate walking section we are on tho! )

Esta en el tren! ;)

Well, yup, I'm a bit peeved at the moment. 1.) My dad brought me breakfast this morning and made me eat it, and it was gross! Like more than a cup of OJ and a big chunk of Sweet bread and a sausage and eggs and some potatoes....Grrrrr....I was wanting an apple! This makes me mad because now I have to skip out on having gelato, which I was going to do as my "lunch" today. No lunch for me now...:/

After that breakkie(completely un-enjoyed) in bed, I got up and ready and rode on one of those stationary bikes in the training room while reading chp. 2 of the Aenied for school. So ick-boring exercise plus a boring book?? No thank you! But I got through it. Then watched some TLC and Animal Planet but I get soooo bored with TV, so I got my little lappy and headed to Starbucks where I am sitting right now, with a short cuppa hot coffeeee. :) Not really drinking it tho...I feel like I drank a lot yesterday, and I usually dont drink like At ALL, so I feel watered out. ;)

Usually I post at night, and relay my day, but today we have plans that will make that impossible. We are going to head over to NewPort Oregon-not the one on the coast, darn, and be there until late tonight. We are visiting a family and friend of my dad that he met in college. I'm not exactly looking forward to it, they have a boy my age, Kyle, and maybe we will ride bikes together...I really like him, dont get me wrong, its just that it has been so long since I have seen him and I am a little nervous! Body image has been SOOOO bad, and I dont want to have to eat dinner there but I will have to. At least there wont be lunch today...

I am also mad because I was going to talk to Karli yesterday but then she couldnt and I thought she would call or at least text or maybe respond to the email I sent her several days ago but NOTHING!!! :( I feel like all of my friends are totally abandoning me! And its not like I have pushed them away! :/ Like Mary wont ever talk to me hardly anymore, and Karli pretty much ignores me unless I sound desperate. But i want to talk to her as a friend! Not just the victim looking for help...:( And Abbi...gee, dont get me started. I'm pretty sure she just likes me for the half hour walk she gets at lunch-I'm the only one who will walk with her. And all she talks about is food! I just want to talk to somebody in a normal way! I just want to talk to Karli like normal friends, but she seems to only respond to me if I am struggling. Whats up with that??? Maybe she just feels like she has to be the "saviour" and it makes her feel good about herself. I just want a friend! A normal friend!! Mary-absent. Karli-absent unless desperately needed. Abbi-well, just NOT normal(only talks about herself and food). Kimberly-Somethings there-I'm going to try to call her when school is out today.

Ya, well thats whats up...just a bit peeved at people, and at myself for being so unable to connect. Urg....I just want a good ole pal is all! Why must that be so impossible??? :( Poopy...

Well, I will hopefully post tomorrow before we head back home on the train. I am realy hoping today will get better. I've had a bad attitude, bad body image, and just an overall bad time since waking up this morning! What can make it get better?? Ahhh, talking to a friend would help but since thats obviously NOT going to happen I better just stop focusing on how awful that is...Maybe go for a walk. But oh ya, Vancouver is like a NOTHING place, no trails or anything lke I expected...and the only stores they have are hair salons and pubs. Pathetic...so pathetic...I walked for 2 stinking hours yesterday before I found an icecream place! LAME!!! Ok, done rambling, sorry for the down post! Trying to work on that, ;)

Maddi

xxx