What should i title this post? ;)

heyo. This mornings breakfast was so yummy, such a good subsitute for the oatmeal that I cant have till Friday morning. I blended 3/4 cup frozen blueberries with a tiny bit of water in my magic bullet, then stuck it in a bowl and put 1/4 cup homemade granola on top!! Mmmm, this was so so good, and I was so excited that I had thought of it. (and again I had oats, hehe, just not in oatmeal form, lol)
mmmm, this was so good, I will have it tomorrow morning for sure!! :)

School was ok. In Mr. T's two classes we just did computer work and I read some blogs when i was finished. Also my team won the villa building competition(thanks to me and my detailing with the exacto knife) so we won candy bars. I chose Snickers, and I am still slowly enjoying it!!
Ahh, i used to not like snickers but now i love em!! It took me almost two hours to finish this! ;) (i just got back from a interruption of writing this post btw.)

Abbi and I had a great talk. She told me how she opened up to her T yesterday, and we also talked just about how our ED's really started, like what the big event that triggered them was. For lunch I had a cookies and cream cliff builder bar. Perty good, but not amaze.
Not the best, but a pretty wrapper! :)
Last nights dinner. This wasnt mine, mine didnt have meat on it and was a lot less, so I took a picture of this one because it was pretty. It was sooo yummy, also with some yummy flat-bread my mom made, that I ate a little ripped off piece of.

Today was a art day, fun as usual, then I came home and did all my drivers ed hw, she gave us a ton of reading.

Well, I am definitely feeling the effects of not eating as much as i should be, but I just dont ever feel like eating! Like seriously, I havent even been looking in the mirror hardly because I know I am really thin, I dont even need to check. Its not really about wanting to look thin, its just about wanting to lose weight and like not eat...i dont know why, but my ED really has me in its grips. I just dont feel like eating. I havent even been hitting the minimum...:/ Last night I woke up at like 4:30 and had chest pains, and I just shrugged that off, and it didnt last very long at all, then that happened again today during math, then again during art. Like its not super painful but it hurts enough for me to notice...and its just on the left side which kinda scares me...ive never felt that before. i just really am a bit scared because i dont want to lose weight, I dont really want to go back down this path, but i am anyway, and i cant stop, even tho I know that i actually can. Its like i want to but i dont want to. Argghh, its so hard....And karli hasnt been texting me to ask how food things are going...:/ Well, i suppose she did Sunday, and i DID tell her not to ask every day. But I feel like someone should know how little I am eating. During my T apt. Dr. K. said I could email her my eats from the day, so i might just do that tonight, and just see how that goes. :/ I am starving but i dont feel hungry. And I am so tired, all I want to do is lay down and sleep, but i cant because I have drivers ed, which i have to leave for in a few...so ya, its just hard...i am so weak...i just want to lay down...but no, I have to finish this day, then tomorrow, then the next day, if i make it that far...:/

Well, this was NOT a very cheery post at all, but its how I'm feeling...so whatever. i must be going tho, have a great Wednesday everyone! Second to last school day for me since i have a T appt. in Seattle Friday. So ya, buh bye!
Maddi
xxx