Goodnight!! And I am not saying that because I am going to sleep right now but because it is LATE!! Aaahhh, I hate going to bed late! But I am, so too bad. Ok, so first off I am a bit peeved because my bro is on the computer and I have to use my moms which means no pictures. :/ LAME!! Secondly, it has been a suuuuper busy day, and I should keep this short but knowing me it will grow long! ;) And I hate my moms lap top. The keyboards is soooo annoying!
Today has been a long day. School was same old, I walked with Abbi at lunch and it was pretty fun, and I just thought it was a little comical because here we are, both with ed's, and the whole time basically we were talking about food bars!! lol. She told me about all the different cliff bar flavors that are at Fred Meyer's and I am going to have to check them out because they all sounded amaze!! Speaking of those, i bought a carrot cake flavored one which I am going to eat for lunch tomorrow.
For breakfast I had apple instant oatmeal. Lunch was a cherry pie Larabar, and o my goodness, this one certainly is my fave out of the 3 that I have tried!! Btw, i will post pictures tomorrow. After school snack was an apple with a tbsp of almond butter. That was different...I didnt want to use PB tho because I always do! Dinner was a lean pocket, and a TLC trail mix bar after drivers ed.
Today I had soooo much homework! Sheesh, and I technically am still not done! Ah, bleh, whatever. Drivers ed was good because it was my LAST class, and I passed the test!! YAY! So now i just have 3 more drives and I am completely done. :) Saturday night I am going to Karli's to spend the night because her whole family wil be gone and she doesnt want to be home alone. ;)
Body image was TERRIBLE today!! Ugh, the whole day I just felt so FAT! Not as bad as yesterday but still....I wanted to hide, or go home, but of course i couldnt. haha, that reminds me, random as it is, that my jerk of a math teacher called the whole class(well maybe just the few people who had questions about the hw assignment, me included) weak and incapable!! Isnt that just pathetic???? I mean, hullo?? We are in math CLASS to learn about math, not be ridiculed when we dont understand it!! He bugs me, and boy, if he had said that to one person in specific I am just sure I would have walked right out of the room without a word and not gone back in. Seriously!!! :/
I will write that metaphor about me that I had in mind. So, I am holding a shield. Just a good sized shield, the type you would see in Roman battles way back then. i am holding up that shield, trying to protect myself, as people are shooting little arrows at me. Sometimes the occasional spear will come in my direction too. A lot of the arrows just stick into my shield, and dont do me any damage. Sometimes tho they hit me, because the shield is not large enough to completely cover me. That is why I need to lose weight, because I need to make myself small enough to fit behind this shield, which is not protecting me enough. When the spears hit the shield they just make it weaker,smaller, and I am hit more and more by the weapons flying at me. I HAVE to become smaller to save myself. Mostly it is just arrows, but there are SOOO many, that it is overwhelming, and they continue to graze me, each time it hurts a little worse than the first time. And the spears are the worst, they leave me cowering, frightened to leave even a pinky finger showing, so I have to shrink, and fast!! I cant imagine doing anything different. Who else could help?? It is just me, alone on the battlefield, I am trapped against the fortress walls, and there are enemies on every side. I do see a rope dangling above me, but by this time I am too small to reach it. I would have to grow in order to grab it and be hauled over the wall by my companions. It is too late tho. The volley of arrows and spears is TOO heavy. Just the slightest give on my part and I wouldnt make it. I have to stay behind the shield. Maybe, just maybe, my companions will lower the rope for me. But by the time they realize I need it, by the time they see that it is just out of my reach, my shield may be broken in two and the largest spear of all could be in my heart. That is how I see myself, in a metaphorical Iliad type war scene, ;).
Well, goodnight again! I have to take a shower and head to bed because gosh it is late!!! So happy Wednesday to everyone!!
Maddi
xxx
Today has been a long day. School was same old, I walked with Abbi at lunch and it was pretty fun, and I just thought it was a little comical because here we are, both with ed's, and the whole time basically we were talking about food bars!! lol. She told me about all the different cliff bar flavors that are at Fred Meyer's and I am going to have to check them out because they all sounded amaze!! Speaking of those, i bought a carrot cake flavored one which I am going to eat for lunch tomorrow.
For breakfast I had apple instant oatmeal. Lunch was a cherry pie Larabar, and o my goodness, this one certainly is my fave out of the 3 that I have tried!! Btw, i will post pictures tomorrow. After school snack was an apple with a tbsp of almond butter. That was different...I didnt want to use PB tho because I always do! Dinner was a lean pocket, and a TLC trail mix bar after drivers ed.
Today I had soooo much homework! Sheesh, and I technically am still not done! Ah, bleh, whatever. Drivers ed was good because it was my LAST class, and I passed the test!! YAY! So now i just have 3 more drives and I am completely done. :) Saturday night I am going to Karli's to spend the night because her whole family wil be gone and she doesnt want to be home alone. ;)
Body image was TERRIBLE today!! Ugh, the whole day I just felt so FAT! Not as bad as yesterday but still....I wanted to hide, or go home, but of course i couldnt. haha, that reminds me, random as it is, that my jerk of a math teacher called the whole class(well maybe just the few people who had questions about the hw assignment, me included) weak and incapable!! Isnt that just pathetic???? I mean, hullo?? We are in math CLASS to learn about math, not be ridiculed when we dont understand it!! He bugs me, and boy, if he had said that to one person in specific I am just sure I would have walked right out of the room without a word and not gone back in. Seriously!!! :/
I will write that metaphor about me that I had in mind. So, I am holding a shield. Just a good sized shield, the type you would see in Roman battles way back then. i am holding up that shield, trying to protect myself, as people are shooting little arrows at me. Sometimes the occasional spear will come in my direction too. A lot of the arrows just stick into my shield, and dont do me any damage. Sometimes tho they hit me, because the shield is not large enough to completely cover me. That is why I need to lose weight, because I need to make myself small enough to fit behind this shield, which is not protecting me enough. When the spears hit the shield they just make it weaker,smaller, and I am hit more and more by the weapons flying at me. I HAVE to become smaller to save myself. Mostly it is just arrows, but there are SOOO many, that it is overwhelming, and they continue to graze me, each time it hurts a little worse than the first time. And the spears are the worst, they leave me cowering, frightened to leave even a pinky finger showing, so I have to shrink, and fast!! I cant imagine doing anything different. Who else could help?? It is just me, alone on the battlefield, I am trapped against the fortress walls, and there are enemies on every side. I do see a rope dangling above me, but by this time I am too small to reach it. I would have to grow in order to grab it and be hauled over the wall by my companions. It is too late tho. The volley of arrows and spears is TOO heavy. Just the slightest give on my part and I wouldnt make it. I have to stay behind the shield. Maybe, just maybe, my companions will lower the rope for me. But by the time they realize I need it, by the time they see that it is just out of my reach, my shield may be broken in two and the largest spear of all could be in my heart. That is how I see myself, in a metaphorical Iliad type war scene, ;).
Well, goodnight again! I have to take a shower and head to bed because gosh it is late!!! So happy Wednesday to everyone!!
Maddi
xxx
1 comment:
Maddi,
Your math teacher sounds like a witch!! I can't believe (s)he said that!!
I know where you are coming from on the body image issues :/ Bit the fact of the matter is there are far more people out there that want to help you than hurt you hun!! I promise you :]
Have a great day!
*hugs*
Scott
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