Wow, its been forever since I last posted...ok, well not thaaaat long, but still....
This past week has consisted of heaven and hell. Heaven: DIVING!!! Heck yes!!! \m/(x.x)\m/ :):):) I LOVE it!!! And this year I am already doing better than last! This was just the first week and I am already throwing inward one and a halfs and back one with one and a half twists and front doubles!!! :D So ya, I feel like a rockstar when I dive! :) Hell: Being sick EVERY day....I mean sick as in not making forward steps with my ED...at all...We even have a system set up as of yesterday to help me out...its helped maybe a little as in I dont purge after every meal and my parents make me eat 1200 calories-I guess the minimum for brain functionality. I am mentally and physically being wiped out by this....Also hell: not having contact with Karli...who IS home from the hospital, thank goodness....but I dont want to intrude and call, she is going through something big, my mom says her family is probably being bombarded by other people wondering what is going on, how Karli is, etc...so I dont want to be a bother...its so hard to be patient tho...I think of her every day, I might call Tuesday...Tuesday because tomorrow I am going to a friends house! More hell: Weight gain....yes...:P So lets say it hasnt been a fun week...But tomorrow is a NEW DAY, a day to IMPROVE and HEAL!!!
Tomorrow I will do something productive in my spare time, tomorrow I will have fun at dive and at my friends house, tomorrow I will NOT purge ANYTHING!!! :) I NEEEEEEEDDDDD to be POSITIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Trying to be, willing myself to be, I have a FUTURE to look forward to, a future of SAVING people less fortunate than me, a future as a doctor, and before that a future as a DIVER!!! :) A future of friendships and laughter and pain, but also LOVE.....I HAVE A FUTURE.
Have a positive week loves...:)
Maddi
xxx
Forex Trading Worth It
2 years ago
5 comments:
Yes, Yes, a new day a new start a new chance for your new life, every day is a chance to start recovery or to build onto your recovery to progress and move forward. treat each day as if it were your first and last day on earth or of recovery. Anyone can do it if they put their minds to it.
xxx
You can have a positive future no matter what you do, and you deserve a future away from this hell.
With the purging thing, I've found it helpful in the past to make myself small achievable goals, even break the day down into tiny little chunks if necessary. Also, plan your time, try not to be alone, and do something nice for yourself each day. Small steps are the way forward :-)
Hugs
Sarah x
YES, you do need to find positivity! You will feel better if you acknowledge the truth- that weight gain is not hell, and neither is food. Weight gain is health gain, and it is the time for us to retrain our minds to learn to love and accept ourselves and the situations that are out of our control.
Be strong and brave.
Madrid, you do have so much to look forward to in your future, and it doesn't include anything related to ED or relapse! I am so proud of how far you have come, and I can't bear to see you go back.
Praying for you, you deserve all the best!!
Scott
will be thinking about you, praying for you. i love you maddi! and you know that's not enough to be eating... you're in a really serious, scary place even if you don't believe it yourself. but you can get better! such a phenomenal girl. *MUAH!* lol.
love,
lucie
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