Hello!
This week has been the slowest, possible most desired to be forgotten week ever...except for in one way, and thats the way in which I have been loved, I dont want to forget that. Between the support from you guys, and the couple people who have been willing to take me in this weekend, I know I am not alone.
On Monday my parents threatened to send me to the hospital...they didnt, but the night was horrible and I didnt sleep. The next day I went to the Poages home all day just to get away. I didnt want to leave there, I just felt so unstable, unrestful, I wanted to stay until I felt better with life...But instead I went to a slumber party, where I ended up getting a big scratch on my nose thanks to the side of the pool! Haha, we were playing around and I got too close! So now I have several scratches on my face and it looks like I got in a fight! ;) The next day I came home, finished my art project, and worked on finding a place to stay for the weekend while my parents took my brother to college in Cali.
The last day of class went well, altho I really didnt spend much time on my final project, it turned out good and I am sure I got an A in the class! :D
So last night I spent the night at the Poages. My best friend Karli who was in Honduras comes home from Honduras tomorrow because she is really really sick. Please please pray for her, it is scary, and I know it hurts her to have to leave the little boy she was taking care of...I found out she was coming home while I was at her house today, her doctor called her parents and said that was the best thing for her to come home...So it was a hard morning...I couldnt bring myself to eat anything, but I had some smoothie at least...Then I had day shift at work today, which was surprisingly easy, and now I am at another friends house. So this is sorta weird because this friend used to be my best friend, I probably havent spent the night here in 3 years!! But they were willing to take me in, and I love her mom, so its alright. :)
Anyway, I kind of feel like I am in a daze right now...probably between inadequate nutrition and because of all the events happening like my parents being gone and me being at other peoples houses, and the stuff with Karli, and ya, its just really difficult. But I WILL get through this. I am just afraid I need more help than I have here. I dont WANT to go IP, but after the last couple days of even worse eating than before, I feel like I cant reverse this on my own. I dont know what will happen...with Karli or me. I am just so scared.
Maddi
xxx
Forex Trading Worth It
2 years ago
6 comments:
Sounds like you really need help right now, and if IP is what it takes, then so be it. I don't think I could have got through last year without it, and there is no shame in accepting help when you are really struggling.
Sorry to hear about your friend...things sound pretty difficult - is there anyone you can talk to? Or go to for support?
Remember you are not alone, and I'm sending hugs :-)
Sarah x
You appear to be facing some rough things right now. Perhaps you should try to be conscious and tune into your emotions. Does hearing about Karli's sickness make you feel unable to take care of yourself? If so, does YOU being upset help HER situation? Most likely the answer is no. You can help her get through this patch by taking care of yourself and giving her some light. Be mindful of your emotions and what is influencing them so that you can counteract the negative path that they may otherwise set up. Not eating or purging is NEVER A SOLUTION!!!! It will only dig you deeper into loneliness and dispair.
I cannot stress the importance of stopping disordered behaviours. Your health and life are at stake, and it will be impossible to go back to school and become a normal teenager if you put off recovery. If you need hospitalization then you must listen to your parents. Avoiding IP for another day, week, etc will only make your eventual hospital stay longer.
Be brave and fight the ED magnet!
Lexi
i will definitely pray for her, and for you.
so much love your way,
lucie
hi dear,
i think you recognize what you need to do for yourself. sometimes asking for help makes you STRONGER, and it will only benefit you-- youve got your life to live. you've got so much going for you.
you're a ROCK STAR. odn't forget it
thinking of you
hope you have a splendid sunday, dear
love, becca
http://fromheretothereinpurple.blogspot.com
It makes me so sad to see you going through all of this :'( I think you are being really strong for what all has been going on and I am so proud you for that. But I also want you to know that it takes so much strength to tell everybody you need help, it can be so hard. But you can do it, because I know that you know that something is up.
I am praying for you Maddi, Stay strong,
Scott
It makes me so sad to see you going through all of this :'( I think you are being really strong for what all has been going on and I am so proud you for that. But I also want you to know that it takes so much strength to tell everybody you need help, it can be so hard. But you can do it, because I know that you know that something is up.
I am praying for you Maddi, Stay strong,
Scott
Post a Comment