ok, so NOW some sketches! ;)

Milly-the wooden duck me and my best friend M in Tennessee pass back and forth! Right now I have her. :)

Sketch of a neat fountain I saw once.

This says, "To see something not as it is, is often harder than seeing something as it is not." Not sure if that makes sense but i made it up! ;)

boots! :)

Maddi

xxx

sketches! :)

Hiya!

This morning I went swimming. 6 to 8 am! :p Its also long course, which I really DON'T like, but I am pushing myself to go anyway. I have only gone to 4 summer practises tho, for various reasons. Today was my first time this week because I have been too tired! Tired because 1.) I have worked EVERY night this week!, and 2.) I started my art class this week!!! :D

Art: The first day was just introduction, then the teacher sent us off to buy supplies. His name is Mr. Bailey, and he is really nice! He has been teaching for 15 years!!! So I expect it will be really good! My classmates are all guys, men actually, which is kinda creepy...So I wont be giving any of them any personal details. If they want to talk about art that is ok, but nothing more!

Yesterday we did some neat exercises like blind contour drawing, and semi blind contour drawing. Blind is when you don't look at the page at all, only at the thing you are looking at. We did that with drawings of our hands! :) Mine actually looked like hands unlike everyone else's, so I was kinda proud of that! :) Then we did semi-blind contour drawings of the top of a plastic lady model. that was so neat, semi is when you can look at the paper a little, you just cant look as you are drawing. We did several of those and I really liked how mine turned out! :)

For class we have to FILL an entire sketch book!!! D: I will try posting pictures in another post-for some reason blogger isnt letting me upload any. :/

Eating wise things have been hard, for a specific reason, so at least I know why. I don't want to end my post not explaining, but I should be watching the kiddos now! I will do a separate post about that tho...:/

I have missed blogging, it is just kinda hard to feel motivated to during the summer! But once we hit fall it will probably be closer to daily, rather than weekly! :)

Hope everyone is well as good be!

Maddi
xxx

My art class at the college starts in 4 days!!!!! I cant wait! :D I will post pictures of work for sure(tho I have no clue what kind of art I will be doing!)

Summer is so busy and so relaxing all in one. I never really feel the urge to blog, I think just because I am so content and loving not feeling like I need to update. But I DO read all of your blogs, just to let you know! Sometimes I comment, sometimes I dont.

Life is swell, I have maintained the same weight for quite some time now, and even tho there are times I hate it, for the most part things have been better. It is hard to maintain tho between swimming and work!

Love you all, once school starts I will probably start posting on a more regular bases again! Oh, and my last post was my 1ooth!! YIPPEEE! :D haha, I was excited to see that! :D

Maddi
xxx

Which way?

1. 2.

I painted a picture for my friend Karli as a graduation present, and I want to frame it but I cant decide which way too.. Vote, 1 or 2!! :) Thanks! (it matters because I want to put my sig.)

So far this has been my summer: painting this, swimming, working, and getting together with a couple friends. Its been great!!!

Maddi

xxx

SUMMER!!!

Today is officially the first day of summer! I am feeling waaay unmotivated to do anything(like posting a decent post for example) but lie around, because it was a tough week and I am exhausted, but YES, it is SUMMER!!! I will post tomorrow, promise! ;) But now, I am going to BED! :D
Maddi
xxx

I want this weekend to not end yet! :P

Heyo!
Wow, I cant believe it is a Sunday...that really really is sad...BUUUT, its my last week of school before FREEDOM!!! :D Ok, so, on to a quick weekend recap...

Saturday morning I woke up and came upstairs(my room is in the depths of the earth...down in the dark and cozy little basement) to some lovely sunshine! That was awesome, seeing as it was the Apple Capital swim meet! Ah, first swim meet ever, I was a bit nervous!!! :P Well, I got there at 10:30, got all my events figured out and written on my arm in sharpie, and warmed up. Warm up was SOOOO chaotic!!! There was the whole WRAC team, plus another smaller team, all jammed into one lane! Gah, it was so crazy, and really hard! I was glad when it was over, that is for sure!!! Then I hung out with D, S, and E in between events. On Saturday I did a 100 free, 100 back, and 50 breast. I was also supposed to do a 200 breast, but I had to go to work. :P The 100 free went good, but it was really hard to know how to pace myself since I have never done a 100 in race speed! Lets just say my legs kinda felt like jello when I climbed out of the pool! ;) The 100 back didnt go so great. This meet was long course, and it was outside so there was no ceiling with flags to keep you going straight!!! I kept hitting the lane line and that MAJORLY slowed me down! Oh well, its all good! The 50 breast also went well! I hate breaststroke, I feel like I try so hard and still dont get anywhere, but I was happy with my time, and I did the best that I could! After all my events I bought a pair of sweats from the little meets shirt selling place thing....lol. Anyway, I put Eat. Sleep. Swim. down one leg, and a little thing that says swim on the right front hip. They are such cozy pants! :D Then it was off to work, which I enjoyed, and K was there, so that was a lot of fun! :)

Today I had to be at the pool at 9:30. And it was pouring rain. Whoopy! :P Warm ups were hectic again, but honestly it was good to be in the water, it was warmer in then out! Today I had just three events again, because the last I had to go to work before, and I think they were alright! I wish the weather wasnt so bad tho so that I could really see what my times would be-the cold really slows you down! First I had a 50 free, and I got third, and that was super excited! And I was only like 5 ish seconds behind some of the fastest girls at the meet! :D 50 frees are definitely my thing! Then I had a 50 back, and I felt like that went well, I didnt hit the lane line, and I didnt have any of those, "ah, my face is under water and I seem to be sinking" moments! The 100 breast went well too. Again, I am SOOOO slow at breast, so instead of trying to go super fast and killing myself, I just relaxed a little, and focused more on my form! :) After that I came home and showered, had blueberry pancakes for lunch, and watched part of Where the Wild Things Are. Then to work, and tonight I finished the movie, and now am blogging! ;) Btw, that movie is really good, it totally doesnt follow the book, but still, I would suggest you watch it if you like cute, happy, sad, funny, serious, type movies. Seriously, I laughed and cried!

Ok, well this post isnt much for thoughts, I need to go to bed so I am well rested for the last few days of school, but I wanted to update you all on how the meet went! All I can say is I still LOVE swimming! :)

Maddi
xxx

Better Ways

Happy Fryyyyyyday!!! ;)

Today I had a T appt. First in two weeks, without a phone appt. in between. And it was actually really good! She weighed me but I didnt look, and she said that I am still at a low weight for my height, but its a healthy weight. Like, it is healthy number wise, but she would want me to gain. Anyway, I am happy that I am at an ok place, and I am happy that I didnt look at the number, which made it so I wouldnt binge! :)

At the beginning of the appt. I did something different! K(my T) has two rats who live in her office. They live in a cage that is on this counter, and the cage door is open so they come and go as they please and even go in this really neat old dollhouse that is on the counter. They were running around(even tho they are nocturnal they seem to always be out when I am there!) and I asked if I could hold one! One is named Pixie, and she is older and more calm, and the other is Tweet, and she is like the teenager! Thats what K says of her at least, and I would have to agree. While I held Pixie, Tweet was trying to find a way off the counter, so K and I watched as she climbed over the barrier that was up, and very ungracefully jump to the floor! It was really funny, and we had to build a better barrier with books! I was afraid Tweet would get hurt, but apparently rats can fall about 30 feet without getting injured! Crazy no?? Oh, and these rats are dwarf rats, so they are really cute, instead of big and ugly. They are also super smart! They dont poop all over, and they dont bite, and they are just 100% adorable! K breeds them, so when my super old cat dies I might get one! I would have to wait because my mom wont allow another pet in the house until one of the 3 we have is gone! Sorry Cloe, but your time on this earth is almost up! She is about 14 yrs. old!!! Holy cow!!!

Anywhoo, the rest of the appt. went well, and we worked together to come up with some things that will prevent me from going to extremes with eating, i.e. binging, or starving. That was good, and I really think that the ideas should work well! One of them is that I read the bible when I get home from school. I think that would be good because often I binge when I get home from school(the days that I binge that is, its not that often) because I feel really lonely! And besides, reading the bible twice a day would actually be a great habit to get into!

After the appt. my mom and I went to Whole Foods for lunch!!!! AH, I. LOVE. THAT. STORE. Omg, it was my first time going there, and it was HUGE and FULL of so many AMAZING foods! Like wow! Unfortunately we had to get home right away, so we only had time to grab lunch, but I would have loved to shop around a bit! Someday! For lunch I had salad bar with things such as egg, and quinoa. I am a huge fan of quinoa! And for dessert I had the dark chocolate rasberry flavored Dagoba chocolate bar. Ah, it was so so good. I didnt bring my camera this trip so no pictures.

I drove most the way home, then when we got home it was time to go to G's graduation. His girlfriend, H, came along with us. It was SO boring!!! :P I am sorry, but the speakers were awful, even the valedictorian who gave a speech was terrible at giving speeches! Seeing that made me so thankful for the education I have gotten at the River Academy!!! Ugh, I was so bummed, I had really been looking forward to going to the Truth Project at K's but instead I had to watch 404 students be handed their diplomas. Woop di didi doo...:P Oh well...

Tomorrow is the Apple Capital swim meet! I am sososososo nervous!!! :S Its my first meet...I have to be there at 10:30 tomorrow morning, and I have 4 events, tho I doubt I will be able to finish them all because I have work at 4:30. Lame. Buuuut, K is working that night too, so I am looking forward to seeing her there! She is working the same job as me, except they are called different names, but you do the same thing. See, it goes by numbers. So I am now able to work job 20, 21, and 22. 20 and 21 are the same job, only they need two people doing it. :) So I will see her in passing! ;)

Ok, well I best be heading to bed, I have a VERY long day ahead of me tomorrow. Oh, did I mention the swim meet is outside, and that the weather has been very cold lately?? Um, ya, brrr....Ok, I'm off and away! :)
Maddi
xxx

Rain and Sun, all in one...

hi! The last few days have sort of been a blur! I worked last night and was trained to do that new job. Not by Karli unfortunately, but by a girl named Alyssa. She was nice tho, and I enjoyed working with her! This new job entails A LOT of walking, and my feet were sore by the end, but I will get used to it. It is fun. You determine what tray goes to who based on the name and number, and serve it to the patient, and it is so much fun to just smile at them and tell them to enjoy their meal, and just bring a little sunshine into their dull hospital room! Even tho it is a tiring job, I really think I am going to enjoy doing it! Tomorrow I am doing it again, this time with Karli, and she said something that makes me think she is pretty much going to leave it to me! D: AHHH, I am not ready to do it on my own yet! I will have to tell her that!

The weather has been pretty wild here! It goes between rainy and sunny, and hot and cold, in the same day! Its pretty crazy, but I dont mind! This afternoon it was POURING, and I went out and jumped on the trampoline! That was so much fun, I was rolling around in the huge puddle that had gathered on it! lol...I love rain. I cant wait to live in Seattle some day! :D

I have gained a bit more weight. I know I need to, rationally. Between 2 hours of swimming at 6 am, to 2 hours and 20 mins of an art class at the college(Mon-Thur), and 3 and a half hours of work in the evening, I am going to need a little bit of a cushion, in case I lose weight, so that I am not stuck at an unhealthy weight! At least I am telling myself that...I cant decide if it is just to make myself not feel guilty about gaining weight, or if I really believe it. Maybe a little of both...Today was pretty hard with body image. All throughout classes I couldnt help but feel like I had giant thighs. Then at home later my hips seemed enormous. But then I had this realization that I am still skinny! I look in the mirror, and I am still skinny! Honestly! It is all balanced, God made our bodies very special, and the fat doesnt all gather in the same place!!! Sure, maybe there is a bit more in some places then others, but that is unique to each person, and God created that person to look like that for a reason! The problem is that today I was focusing on that one section of fat, instead of looking at my body as a whole. If we all scrutinize and study each individual part of our bodies, we will NEVER be happy! God made us have complete bodies, we arent defined by the size of our thighs, or the length of our legs, or the color of our hair and eyes. We are people, created in His image, and health and happiness is what is important. In class today a question of why we are on earth was answered. "We are here to glorify God and enjoy Him forever." I thought that was really interesting, and also really true!

Well, I am looking forward to work tomorrow! Then Friday I have a T appt. and either my brothers graduation, or the Truth Project thing at Karli's. I really hope that the times dont conflict, because if they do I would have to go to the graduation, and quite frankly I would rather go to Karli's! I would rather spend my time learning about the Truth and spending time with fellow believers then watching a bunch of high school graduates walk across a stage! ;) Ok, so maybe thats a little harsh, but o well! ;)

Thanks for all of your sweet comments! :D Keep plugging away at recovery and your goals, whether it be eating or taking care of other hard issues in your life. :)
Maddi
xxx

I havent left!!!

Wow, its been a while since my last post...:P

I have just a couple exciting things to tell. One is that Friday night I went to a birthday party for this girl from my church. My sister and I were both invited and it was a slumber party! It was soooo fun!!!!! I dont even remember the last time I went to a birthday party, let alone a slumber party!! We stayed up till 4 am watching movies and playing card games and eating candy. Yes, I ate the candy too!! Seriously, why not?? I needed the extra calories anyway staying up that late! ;)So ya, it was awesome!

On Saturday we set up our trampoline! YES!!!!!! My parents always talked about getting one, especially to help me with diving, but they never did until now. It is so much fun. I havent really had much a chance to jump on it yet tho, but today after school I may try to get on for a little while. But i have to be at work at 4. :/ I am going in early because Karli has to train me for another job. At least it is Karli training me! The girl who trained me for the other job kept leaving stuff out so then I got the blame for forgetting it! :P Also, that night, we had a birthday dinner for my mom. Thai food was for dinner. It was really good! :D Lots of veggies too! Then dessert was Marion-berry pie. That is like my FAVORITE flavor pie! :)

Sunday after church C, S, and dad and I drove to Spokane to visit some family. That was pretty fun, then we drove home Monday. Fast and sweet, any longer and I wouldnt make it because our cousins are really very annoying and rough. I am glad we went tho!

Last night was just a work night...I dont know what is happening at school today, but hopefully nothing hard...

Oh, and it is a new month! A new start! :) I am determined to make this a great month on the eating front! And with other things as well I suppose! ;)
Maddi
xxx